Attachment Theory
Attachment Theory is a psychological model that explores how early relationships with caregivers influence our emotional development and impact our relationships in adulthood. Developed by John Bowlby, this theory focuses on the bond between a child and their caregiver and how it shapes feelings of security, trust, and emotional regulation. Understanding your attachment style through Attachment Theory can provide insight into your emotional patterns and help you build healthier relationships.
What is Attachment Theory?
Attachment Theory explains how early experiences with caregivers shape our emotional lives and relationship patterns. As children, we develop an attachment style based on how our caregivers respond to our needs. These attachment styles—secure, anxious, avoidant, or disorganised—often carry over into adulthood, influencing how we connect with others and manage emotional intimacy.
- Secure Attachment: A healthy attachment style where you feel safe and secure in relationships.
- Anxious Attachment: A style characterised by a fear of abandonment, leading to clinginess or insecurity in relationships.
- Avoidant Attachment: Individuals with this style tend to avoid emotional closeness and may struggle with intimacy.
- Disorganised Attachment: This style is a mix of anxious and avoidant tendencies, often linked to traumatic experiences in early life.
For more on the foundations of Attachment Theory, visit the British Psychological Society.
How Attachment Theory Works in Therapy
In therapy, we use Attachment Theory to help you understand how your early experiences affect your current relationships. By identifying your attachment style, we can work on developing healthier, more secure connections with others. The focus is on understanding how your past influences your present and working to heal any emotional wounds caused by early attachment experiences.
The key aspects of Attachment Theory include:
- Identifying Attachment Styles: Understanding your attachment style and how it impacts your relationships.
- Exploring Early Experiences: Reflecting on your childhood relationships to identify patterns that may still be affecting you.
- Developing Secure Attachment: Working towards building trust, emotional regulation, and secure connections in your current relationships.
Benefits of Understanding Attachment Theory
Attachment Theory provides a framework for understanding relationship difficulties and emotional patterns. By exploring your attachment style, you can gain insight into why you respond to others in certain ways and learn strategies for developing healthier relationships. This approach is especially beneficial for those struggling with intimacy, trust, or emotional regulation in relationships.
Why Choose Restorative Counselling for Attachment-Based Therapy?
At Restorative Counselling, I use Attachment Theory to help you explore the connections between your past and present relationships. By understanding your attachment style, we can work together to heal old wounds and create healthier, more secure connections with others. My approach is compassionate and tailored to your unique needs, offering a safe space for self-exploration and growth.
If you’re ready to understand how Attachment Theory can improve your relationships, contact me today. Together, we can work on building more secure and fulfilling relationships in your life.
FAQs
Counselling works best when you recognise that you’re struggling and can no longer continue as you are, and you want to make changes in your life but don’t know how. Sometimes, it may feel almost impossible to know what these changes should be. Often, the insights that arise are created during sessions through deep discussions and are developed between sessions.
Counselling can be challenging, as it may bring old memories, feelings, and past hurts to the surface. However, sharing these thoughts and feelings will give you a clearer understanding of why they still cause you pain, an ability to reduce that pain, and even help you find healing from those experiences.
I offer a Humanistic Integrative approach in a person-centred way. This means that we focus on you as an individual, working with your agenda, allowing you to explore those difficult memories and feelings. I use a combination of approaches to suit your individual needs because I believe one size does not fit all. We are all unique.
This is entirely up to you and something we can discuss during our initial consultation. Sometimes, starting with six sessions can be beneficial, and during these sessions, we can review whether you would like to continue or terminate them. Short-term counselling can be helpful during an immediate crisis to support you through it.
Long-term counselling allows for a deeper exploration of your problems, helping you understand how they affect you and where they stem from. We can start with weekly sessions and later move to fortnightly or every three weeks, depending on the situation and what would benefit you. Remember, this is your decision. At the end, we can have a final review and look at ways to help you move forward in your life, making the transition as safe and comfortable as possible.
Often, you will know when your counselling is nearing its end. You will feel more confident and at peace within yourself, and the memories will not cause you as much pain. You will be able to reflect on them in a way that no longer distresses you. We will discuss how you would like to conclude the counselling process.
We can have a final review a few weeks after counselling ends to see how you have been coping and how you’ve incorporated these changes into your daily life.
I currently charge £50 per session. I also offer concessions for those in need and will try to match your income, as I understand that affording regular counselling can be challenging.
For students studying for their Diploma or another qualification who need hours towards their personal counselling, I also offer a concession if needed.
Your first appointment may seem daunting, but it’s an opportunity for us to meet and get to know each other. We can then discuss how we can best work together and how I may be able to help you.
I also offer a free 20-minute phone call to briefly discuss the therapy and how we can begin.
